Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Insensitivity training -- advice requested.

There are only a couple of friends with whom I have shared that we are having a tough time getting pregnant.  One of them, who I have mentioned before, was all kinds of freaked out about getting pregnant with her second child, and was running around showing other women her FSH and LH and E2 numbers. (Frankly, they weren't that bad, and she got pregnant again from her first IUI.)

So this same friend (due in January) sends out this email last evening to me and two other women:
"I had a terrible dream. We were all back in B-school, and all of you sat together at some class dinner, but decided I should sit somewhere else. And then the people at my table got up and left, so I had to sit alone the whole night.  How weird is that? Think I'm having antepartum nightmares induced by fears of further mommy isolation..."

Seriously?  You just sent me that?  We talked about how I am having trouble getting pregnant in May, in August, you know I'm still not pregnant and you send me that?  Jeesh.

But since I am willing to take criticism, am I being oversensitive?  I don't want to be all bitchy and difficult, but this bugged the bejesus out of me.  Input welcome.


  1. I agree with you! I don't think you're being too bitchy or over sensitive. I do wonder why she associated that dream with fears of motherhood v2 also but to send it to you and say so???

    :-s it's a strange one!

  2. No, you're not being oversensitive at all - sounds like your friend could do with a few lessons in sensitivity, though. Except... I don't know her history, but if she was worrying about her numbers and had an IUI, perhaps she feels as though she doesn't really fit in with all the fertile myrtles, but also doesn't fit in with infertiles who are continuing to struggle - perhaps that is quite isolating for her, and she just found a really bad way to express it.

  3. I agree, your are being oversensitive. It is impossible for anyone to understand the journey of IF but that doesn't mean they get to be totally self obsessed jerks!

    I would speak to her about intentions - I know you didn't intentionally mean any harm but ....

    So sorry she made you feel crap