Not much to say about that except I'm a little bit nervous. OK -- I'm a lot nervous. We've done the breast cancer gig before, and it wasn't so bad; I'm just hoping for not so bad this time around, too. She's had such a rough go of it, I wish she could catch a break. Seriously -- she deserves to smoothly sail through her life from here on in.
I wish I could will the cancer away and make her life smoother, but this is just another part of my life where I feel totally powerless to change anything. There is really nothing I can do to make it better, except be helpful and supportive. I know this, but it frustrates and leaves me feeling enervated and agitated.
At the least, I wish I could come bearing some super exciting news like "I'm pregnant with your first grandchild" or something else positive. But I've got nothing to bring except myself, and I can just hope that will be enough.
I just can't shake the feeling that I am a huge disappointment to her since I am failing to produce a grandchild. I know that she doesn't feel that, but I also know that she gets all wistful at the mention of her friends' numerous grandchildren.
But like I said, this time I can only bring myself, and my heart full of fear and hope.