Thursday, October 29, 2009

I appear to have recovered from the trauma that was my women's radiology appointment. Thanks to all of you so much for your comments -- they made me feel loads better that others understand how difficult moments like that can be, and they cracked me up, which was all good.

I'm one week into my lu.pron shots, and thought this would be a good time to regale you with how those are going, as it appears I have another week before adding on the stims (and I keep the lu.pron even after that. Fun!).

Worst thing about them is that they are screwing with my sleep in a big way. I like my sleep. I need my sleep. I am an excellent sleeper. But now I am finding that I wake up every 2-3 hours, and then am just lying there, listening to my Boy breathe, growing increasingly agitated that he is sleeping and I am most definitively not.

I have periodic weird cramping that feels a little like ovulation. Its a complete mystery what's going on down there, but it makes me bloody anxious.

I am getting crazy ass hot flashes. I got these from the progesterone suppositories I took during the five (failed) clo.mid cycles, but I keep finding myself needing to strip down at the least convenient times: at the grocery store, while walking the dog, at a Broadway play. This also fucks with my sleep, because I already heat up when I sleep, so I really don't need a temperature boost, thank you very much.

I would rather not have sex. Ick. That's pretty odd for me to say, since I usually possess a healthy sex drive and was so excited that we are not doing the whole scheduled, "let's do this even though we are tired and not that into it" baby-making sex. But instead of this being a period of unbridled physical fun, I'd rather watch a movie. Or do the dishes. Or organize my sock drawer. The Boy -- he's not all that amused.

I keep feeling over-caffeinated. It can't be that, since I cut out caffeine in June (and yes, that sucked just as much as you think it might). But I feel jittery and kind of hyper, and not in a good way.

So these effects are combining to make me a wee bit cranky, which really means I am losing my freaking mind on a fairly regular basis. I'm not weepy like I sometimes am before my period, but I'm just very volatile. Case in point -- I kind of lost my shit yesterday over a salami sandwich. There was nothing wrong with the sandwich, except that the Boy made one and didn't make one for me, and that apparently was a capital crime. So he's kind of hiding out, and I am going to the gym and trying to burn off this inchoate agitation. But then I get angry that he's not paying attention to me, so there's really no winning for the poor guy.

I frankly think I'd be a happier person if I self-medicated with a good drink or too, but I've cut out alcohol as well. Gargh!

Anyway, if any of you out there have suggestions about how to keep the crazies out of my head, please let me know! Any and all coping suggestions are welcome (and especially if you think I am being a weenie about the booze and can (should?) drink during this time, I'd love to hear from you!).


  1. Ugh. I know the feeling. Lupron is from the devil. Haven't found anything that makes it easier, except reminding myself (and everyone I manage to offend during a Lupron phase) that it's not ME being a completely loony bitch, it's the Lupron. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.

    Sorry it's so sucky. I'm with you- I cut out all alcohol/caffeine/excess sugar, etc. during a cycle, and I'm convinced that it's part of my moodiness. Hang in there.

  2. I don't know what else to suggest! I know you don't want to do sugar, but how about getting some reeeaally good quality chocolate? Even just a little bit helps my moods sometimes (not that I've tried it on lupron).

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time!

  3. Not that rough, but I've had more fun! Thanks for the suggestion -- I think I might go that route. Dark chocolate is good for you, right?? :-)