Sunday, November 29, 2009

TSA surprise

Last time I wrote, I was all sorts of anxious about going through airport security with my pharmacy supply worth of drugs and needles. Turns out no one cared a bit. So for all of you women out there worried about traveling with your injectable medication -- worry no more, at least if you are flying to either Newark or Cleveland. My suggestion is to carry note from the RE just in case.

But shouldn't someone care that I brought 6 syringes with large mixing needles, 5 small needles, and a mandoline (Japanese cooking tool with very sharp blade for slicing vegetables) with me in my carry-on luggage? I certainly don't feel a lot safer in the air.

But other than that, Thanksgiving was wonderful (more on that later) and I'm 4 days into my stim shots. Turns out that the men.opur/ cocktail stings a bit going in. But overall, not too bad.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Back in the saddle

OK, really, I mean back in the stirrups, but that sounds so much less fun.

First off, I want to belatedly welcome everyone here from ICLW. Here's a quick rundown of our TTC history:
- Spring 2008 deal with random mystery endocrine system issues. Everything checks out ok after I give about 3 gallons of blood, but thyroid levels are moving all over the place.
- Got hitched in Nov 2008. First time for both of us (everyone asks) but we are getting up there in years (I'm 39 now, the Boy is 45)
- Pulled the goalie in Aug 2008, and counted on the empire waist wedding dress to hide any growing bumps. Hah.
- Tried every month until January, at which point my OB gave me a full work up, which was all good, although the Boy's SA was kinda eh.
- Failed 5 months with Clo.mid, although one of those months I was out of town during the key days, so it doesn't really count. So let's call it 4. With a bonus month of useless pills that made me fat and crabby. But respond really well to clo.mid (made >9 eggs first month)
- Refer to an RE, who double super checks everything out. As do the other two REs we go visit to get other opinions.
- Consensus is to jump direct to IVF.
- Give it a few more tries before getting started.
- Learn lab is closing for a few key weeks during the months we want to start
- Oct I finally begin Lupron. On Day 13 of the injections, still no period, so go in. Evil cyst on left ovary. Damn.
- Stop shots. Three days later, bleeding starts. On cd2, cyst miraculously gone, but running into Thanksgiving travel with this cycle, so hang out on bcps for 2+ weeks
- Stop bcps today. Starting stims on Thursday 26 Nov. Back into RE on 1 Dec.

Oh yeah, in June 2009 Boy loses job. In Sep 2009 I begin my 4 month severance period at my job, which I quit, and so our income and our insurance all run out soon! Woo hoo!

Tonight I will pull the box o' meds off the shelf and go get all my meds ready for our big plane ride. Man are they gonna love me at security. I have a "special dispensation" letter, but I still think that it's going to be a shit show on the day before Thanksgiving.

So that's pretty much it. I'm very excited to be starting again, but woke up ridiculously early this morning (4.30am) for no apparent reason, and so am honestly too tired to feel excited. Need. nap. now.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Turning a corner

Ok. It appears that my week of drama is over, and I have regained my personal equilibrium, as has the Boy, and that everything is back to good.
So now my attention is going back to le cycle.
I've been really trying not to count every last second of the bcps, but I have. I'm pretty freaking psyched that I have only two pills left, because this long break from any real forward progress has left me feeling pretty convinced that our someday baby is just a figment of my imagination. I mean, I'm taking birth control pills for gosh sakes. Because yeah, we apparently needed help not getting pregnant. Actually, we did a good job of not getting pregnant all on our own, thank you very much.
I know I know -- I chose this path and could have been practically at transfer already. But things have been so crazy with job hunting, and Thanksgiving travel is imminent, so I still think this was the right decision . But not doing anything to create our mystery baby just puts it more and more distant in the future, and I'm just ready to get on with it already.
I keep taking out all of the meds and looking longingly at the needles -- I actually miss the shots and can't wait to start them again. I'm super excited about packing everything up and doing all of the chemistry experiment mixing (my favorite toy as a young girl was a chemistry set, so I guess it should be no surprise) when I am at my Mom's for the holiday. She has just redone her guest bathroom and has promised me a whole drawer and loads of counter space for all of my paraphernalia. I'm getting all happy just thinking about it.
After this cycle -- and my enthusiasm for it -- came to a screeching halt with the evil cyst, I guess I'm now allowing myself to start getting excited again. Let's face it: I AM excited, because maybe, just maybe, it will work. One thing is for certain, it's certainly a whole lot more likely to get us our mystery baby than these damned bcps. So here's looking forward to another appointment with the vagicam on Monday. I'm ready to get this show on the road.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

3 mile island

It finally happened this week -- our long-anticipated meltdown. I think that all of the stress that I have been really trying to pretend wasn't there finally got to us. I've been doing such a good job of being willfully ignorant of what is really going on with us that I have only now actually acknowledged that things are very very tough right now.

And much though I hate to say this, what pushed me over the edge from blissful ignorance to the-sky-is-falling hysteria was actually the Boy. And I understand his perspective -- really I do -- but I just can't deal with it right now.

I'm lucky. No shit, really really lucky. I have a very good resume, a strong network, and have gotten two job offers without really trying that hard. But neither job is right, and the recent offer is definitely low-balling me on salary. And, incidentally, I really don't want to do the work that the job entails. So I told the Boy I was thinking about turning it down, and he said "you know, if you do that we will have to move -- we won't be able to afford to live here."

Now I get it -- he works in finance and that job market is just a shit show. And he has been out of work since January and looking really hard for several months, and has exactly zero real leads. Nada. Zilch. And I just walk into an offer (seriously, I did practically nothing) and then cavalierly suggest that I will turn it down, even though I have nothing else confirmed yet, but do have several things moving forward nicely. And that freaked him out that we will have to start dipping into our savings, which we have not had to do yet.

So his anxiety about being in a deficit situation ran headlong into my anxiety about taking a job that I am not excited about. And that was a rather combustible collision. Turns out that both of us are, in our own very different ways, completely freaking out about the fact that we don't have steady jobs, and are about to dip into savings to keep things running (like eating and stuff) and are, at the same time, about to start an ivf cycle. Which could (and hopefully will) result in a baby, and while that is crazy exciting, is also a scary thing if we don't have jobs.

How did this happen? We have 3 graduate degrees from 3 fancy-ass universities. We work hard. We are good at what we do. We save our pennies and don't run up debt. So how has it happened that we are struggling so damned hard for everything right now?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Freaking out

I had something approximating a panic attack last night. Why? Because my severance runs out in 2 weeks, the job I just got offered isn't a great fit, the Boy still has no prospects for work, and I am trying to get pregnant. via IVF. with my insurance that I will start having to pay for in 3 months.

oh yeah -- and I live in the most expensive city in the US (New york) and am careening into my 40th birthday.

what the fuck am I thinking? I think I am finally breaking under the stress.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I have three major projects going on right now:
- find a job
- lose weight and get into better shape so that I feel and look better
- have a baby

Now, each of those projects takes a fair amount of time and energy, and not all of the goals are actually consistent -- case in point, I would prefer not to be starting a new job and pregnant at the same time, but I guess that's just the way the world works out. (Note the implicit assumption that both of these things will work out pretty well in the near term. Still holding out hope that everything will just work out ok.)

So I've actually made a good deal of progress on these, and I thought I'd share what's going on.

Starting with the "don't be such a fatty" project, since the beginning of September I have actually lost the 12-15 lbs I packed on this past year (I was clearly unrestrained in my consumption) and am in better cardiovascular shape than I have been in a while. My flexibility and strength are coming back steadily and I feel pretty good and can fit into my clothes. I just have 10 lbs more to go to reach the 30-year-old goal weight. One annoyance: I apparently overdid it on some of the weights and aggravated an old shoulder injury, but I'm back at PT 2x a week, and so that is good all around.

The baby? Well, we've acknowledged that we need a little help, since our monthly efforts were not paying off in a reasonable time period. That was a pretty big step for us, especially the Boy. And although IVF v.1.1 had to be cancelled earlier this month b/c of an evil cyst, we are still on track to finish a cycle by early Dec. I just went back in yesterday because I was having some painful cramping on the left side, which was site of evil cyst, but both ovaries look good and quiet, which is how it all should be with the bcps I am presently taking. I'm back in on Monday and then start stims (assuming period comes after ending bcps) on the 26th. Right now, I'm just trying not to be focused on the baby making because there is really nothing at all going on. Just more waiting and a daily pill. No shots, no drama -- nothing.

Lastly, the job. Now, let me preface this by stating that I would be perfectly happy not to work any more, ever. I think that I have put in enough hours of working in the last 17 years since I graduated college that it should cover me until I am at least 55. But since the Boy's job search is quite slow, and we do need food and shelter, I am looking to head back to work. And I got a second job offer yesterday, and have a whole bunch more interviews set up this week, so I hope to receive another couple of offers in the near term (before year end). Woo hoo!
I'm overall quite pleased about how things are working out, and while I wish that I could have a little bit more certainty in my life, this is a positive step forward.

That's it from this part of the internet. I like forward progress, and so am pretty happy about where things are. Off to another interview... (is it bad I'd rather have a nap?).

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Today is our very first anniversary (yep -- I waited until I was 38 to get hitched, and the Boy was 44).

Aside from the whining in the last post, it's really been quite a fun year. We've actually had just a perfectly lovely day, and a really nice night out last night. Today we went to one of our favorite brunch places today and then went to an art exhibit, and then walked home in the sun through central park. On our very first weekend we spent together, we did the exact same thing, so it was nice to reminisce about that a bit, and laugh about how hard we both were trying to be on "best date behavior" for a whole weekend.

This year of being married has been surprising: being married can be hard but it is also awesome. Really really awesome. (I'm weirdly inarticulate about this, but I'll just leave it there.)

This year has also thrown a whole lot at the two of us: one job loss, one "I've had enough and I'm quitting" job loss, two parents with cancer, the murder of a friend, and our infertility. I don't think I'm overstating it when I say that I might not still be standing if I didn't have the ability to lean on (read "grab in desperation") the Boy, and I'm hopeful I've made it a bit easier on him, too.

None of these challenges have gone away yet, but we have made it through the year together, and we are stronger than we were before. And that is enough. Enough so that even if nothing else works out the way we plan, our lives together will be rich enough and full enough of laughter and love that it will all be OK.

So today I just feel lucky, and I'm going to hold onto that feeling for as long as I can.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Collateral damage

One of the things that I hate about this whole damned process is how it has screwed with our otherwise normal sex life. Here's what I think may have driven the train off the track:

- Month upon month of scheduled mandatory sex. Not only is it not awesome to have to do it on demand, but my work schedule made it really rough. Because I used to travel about 70% of the time, for us this has involved us shelling out and taking last minute flights or train trips, leaving the office and then running back, waking up really early to wedge in a "session" before a 7am call, and once a conference call put on mute because we were literally not going to have any time before I left on an unexpected week-long trip. Honestly, there's nothing sexier than hearing your co-workers talking about financial reports while you are trying to get it on. Try it -- it's awesome.

- Oversharing about what is going on in my nether regions. Ovulation cramping, the need for "first morning pee" for the OPKs, the regularity of my periods, and -- and this one was clearly a strategic error on my part -- discussions of cervical mucus changes. This was way waaay more than he wanted to know.

- Emotional meltdowns at, well, at almost anything. This includes the arrival of my period, the announcement of friends' pregnancies, births, childrens' photos, the pregnant woman in front of me in line at the grocery store, a scene in a movie, children in a playground. Turns out that (a) being somewhat OCD about TTC and (b) being a snotty, blotchy mess isn't that attractive. And while he is good at consoling, and really sweet, that whole thing from the movies where the handsome actor kisses the weepy starlet's tears away as a prelude to a steamy sexual encounter? Yeah, that's not so much us.

- Dates with a cup. He hates it, and I can't really blame him for not being super amorous afterwards. And mediocre results didn't really help him feel better about things.

- Irrational rages, often directed at the Boy. I know I know that it isn't his fault that the lup.ron made me a complete wingnut, but he definitely took the brunt of it. And he's taken the brunt of a lot of other rages at the unfairness of the entire thing. Lessons learned: picking a fight is not the best foreplay. And makeup sex might work for other people, but we are more likely to need a makeup nap since arguing is so damned draining.

- The lurking sense of failure. Our sex didn't work, it wasn't productive, and we couldn't create a child "the normal way." It's not always there, but sometimes I just can't help thinking it.

I just want sex to be fun again. And not on a schedule. And just about us and closeness and not about breeding. I just want things to be normal.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Nothing much going on.

Hanging out here on the bench, there's really not a whole hell of a lot to report about my fertility (or lack thereof).

Here's really the schedule:
I wake up. Brush my teeth.
I take my prenatal vitamin.
I take my birth control pill.
I count the number of birth control pills left until I am done with them.
Then I use my fingers and my addition skills (which are rusty at that hour of the day, so I'm a little slow) to figure out what day I will go in for ER, and when a possible ET could be.
I check to see if we have plans for those days, so that I can cancel them.
Then I calculate (again, using fingers) when I would know if I was pregnant.
Then I calculate when I could contemplate telling people.
Then I calculate a potential due date (this one is harder since that whole 40 weeks thing doesn't start from the "hooray you are pregnant" day and requires subtraction as well).
Then I feel relieved that this child won't have a summer birthday and won't feel cheated by not being able to bring in cupcakes and celebrate at school.

I seriously do this every morning.

I am insane.

I'm guessing you all knew that already.

Like I said, not much to report

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My very first award!

Happy Tuesday! (I'm willing myself into a good mood. Annoying, isn't it?)

I received my very first blog award from the lovely Sprogblogger (whose birthday is today, so be sure to stop by!), so I thought I'd dive right into it. And a big thank you to Sprogblogger for sending this my way (seriously, it made my day)

Here's the rules, and here's my answers.


1. You can only use one word!
2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers.
3. Alert them that you have given them this award!
4. Have Fun!

1. Where is your cell phone? Sofa
2. Your hair? Unwashed
3. Your mother? Strong
4. Your father? Missed
5. Your favorite food? Shortribs
6. Your dream last night? Mystery
7. Your favorite drink? San Pellegrino
8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
9. What room are you in? Livingroom
10. Your hobby? Hiking
11. Your fear? Loneliness
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Content
13. Where were you last night? Livingroom
14. Something that you aren’t? Carefree
15. Muffins? Yes
16. Wish list item? Mittens, kitchen counterspace
17. Where did you grow up? Ohio
18. Last thing you did? job search phone call
19. What are you wearing? Clogs
20. Your TV? Ginormous
21. Your pets? Snuggly
22. Friends? Irreplaceable
23. Your life? Flux
24. Your mood? Eh
25. Missing someone? Dad
26. Vehicle? Feet
27. Something you’re not wearing? Bra
28. Your favorite store? Bergdorf Goodman
29. Your favorite color? Sage green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday
32. Your best friend? Husband
33. One place that I go to over and over? Connecticut
34. One person who e-mails me regularly? Husband
35. Favorite place to eat? NYC

And I'd like to pass this on to the following lovely bloggers (and apologies if you've recently gotten this... its like a chain letter, but a well-intentioned one!)

Notice my newfound ability to put links into my blog -- Thanks Maddy!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

IF in real life

About a month ago I posted that I had emerged out from my cave and had started re-connecting with some friends that I had ignored when I first started dealing with our TTC challenges.

One of the people I re-connected with was an old college friend -- let's call her S -- who had also been "missing": she hasn't returned any calls/ emails and no one had seen her since early in the Spring. I had a sinking suspicions I knew why she was hiding out, and so I sent her an email basically telling her that I was struggling to get pregnant, was about to start IVF, and thought she might be in a similar place. Sadly, I was right, and it turns out she had done 5 failed IVF cycles, to include one m/c and one ectopic. (And by now its 6 failed cycles). So she most definitely "gets it" and I hope I have been able to be a good friend and sounding board for her.

One of the great things about this recent discovery is that we have formed our own little united front against the masses of our friends that have kids so we can bitch to each other about the annoying shit that our fertile friends do. In fact I got an email yesterday from one of our mutual friends, which, of course, I immediately forwarded on to S. [As background, I've been trying to go out to visit this third friend since August, waiting for her to tell me what dates work, since she has twin 5yo and a 5 month old.] When I finally emailed and said that maybe we should wait until the spring, I got this:

"Your life is very different than mine right now, and while I am blessed with three beautiful children, they also take a lot of time. I wouldn't expect you to understand why I couldn't find time to respond to your emails this past month, but a lot of things just fall by the wayside when you have kids."

And my dear, wonderful friend S's response to me? "Seriously, we all know she can be a raging bitch sometimes, so just ignore her. And remember, she's fat and her husband is fat and weird."

And this response, which is bitchy, and catty, and yet kind of wonderful, made me laugh out loud because it is 100% true and only a woman who I have known since I was 18 could possibly have come so close to articulating what I really wanted to say, which really was "oh go fuck yourself."

So maybe the two of us will just become angry and crotchety and more bitter, and will alienate all of our friends with their packs of children, but it sure is great to have someone who I know, and have known for years, to talk and bitch and whine and cry to.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

No going back on this

Oh lovely internet ladies. I read all of your advice, and agonized all day. And I talked to the Boy and to my Mom and to my dog (sometimes you just have to talk it out) and I decided to wait and go the bcp route.

You all gave me very thoughtful and helpful advice, and I don't want to appear that I am not taking it into consideration, but, well.... Here's really it: I can't miss Thanksgiving. I can't even come close to thinking about missing Thanksgiving.
- My mom is getting tired from her daily cancer treatment (which started last week) and she was very honest that she doesn't have the energy to cook, even though she insisted that I should do what was right for me.
- My grandfather, who is 94 and possibly my favorite person in the entire world, has told me several times how much he is looking forward to keeping me and the Boy company while we cook on Wednesday.
- The Boy's parents (who are unaware of our TTC status/ challenges) are flying in on Wednesday, and so would be mighty curious about why their children weren't there yet.
- Wednesday is my parents anniversary, or would have been had my dad not died 25 years ago, and I don't like my mom to be alone.

The Boy knows this, and knows that I would have been a complete and utter fucking basket case for the next 10 days while we waited to see how long this would take, and he asked me to wait.
He also knows that, much though I love my family, sometimes I get mighty stressed out when I am home, and so he was worried that the stress might not be 100% optimal during the time the little embryo will be trying to snug in.

So I'm holding off.
I hope to hell it is the right decision, but I've already popped the bcp so there is really no going back now. To be honest, I'm already regretting it a little bit and thinking about what would happen if I did the shots and the bcp, but even I'm not that crazy. I promise.

So here's what I'm going to do to while away this time: I'm going to set a goal and try to go to the gym every single day between now and 23 Nov so that I will get the bloody scale to read in the proper decile (and even that is not the decile of my 20s...) by the time I depart for Thanksgiving. It's ambitious, but I think I can pull it off for 2 weeks +.

If you had 2 weeks that you needed to fill to ensure you were appropriately distracted, what would you do? (And remember -- I have no job so I have loads of time!!)

Wonder of wonders (and I need your advice!)

Miracle of miracles.

Not only did my period arrive yesterday (accompanied by the worst cramps I have ever EVER experienced), but I went in for day 2 b/w and u/s this morning and...
(wait for it)
the cyst is GONE!

My RE, who I am starting to adore, gave me two options:
- start f + men.opur cocktail tonight, add gan.irelix after 6-7 days (depending on how things look) and get this cycle wedged in before my departure for Thanksgiving (morning of Wed 25 Nov).
- start bcp tonight through 23 Nov, and start stims on 26 Nov. (3 weeks behind original plan)

Why is there any question?
Assume I stim for 10 days, then ER is on 18 Nov and 5dt on 23 Nov and we are all good. Stim for 11 days -- also all good. Stim for 12 days or 6dt? I have to move our plane tix for the busiest travel day of the year and tell my mom that she will have to cook (it's my turn this year).

I know that it's not entirely correlated, but I responded like gangbusters to clo.mid and had 11 big follicles when they checked after 6 days. And there is nothing in my hormone levels to lead me or the RE to believe that I will not be a very good responder.

But do I want to make myself crazy for 10 days?

The Boy is still sound asleep (sloth!) so I don't know his preference.
What would you do?

Friday, November 6, 2009

Big fat waste of time

I had a job interview today. That's generally a good thing, even though I keep telling the Boy that I'd prefer not to go back to work. But it's an interview for a position that would be pretty interesting and pay quite well, so I'm generally ok with it.

One thing about this company -- it is in New Jersey. Now that's not really that big of a deal, and I have had many clients from my old job out in NJ, but when I do, I get a rental car (it's true -- many people in NYC do not own cars. Case in point: me.). But for a one hour interview, I did the math and it was way cheaper to take the train and then a taxi.

My schedule:
6.20 awake
6.30-7 take dog out for a quick run
7-8 get ready and eat breakfast
8 leave house via subway to train station
8.47 train to NJ
10 train arrives at destination
10.10 taxi pickup scheduled
11 interview.

I made it through steps 1-5 before something got screwed up. And that something was that my interviewer had no power at her house and therefore could not get her car out of the garage to get to work.

So at 9.50am I received a call from the assistant to my interviewer cancelling our meeting. I was one station away from my destination. I had spent ~$25 on subway and train fare. I was wearing a suit, makeup, and heels. But I got off of the train and waited 25 minutes for the return train and then went home. I was away from home for exactly 4 hours, and accomplished exactly nothing.

I'm vaguely peevish about the whole thing, but at least I'm home and back in my fleece pants and sweater eating homemade soup. As part of my "stop whining" initiative, I am determined to make the best of it.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Moving on

I think I am mostly recovered from the crappy day I had yesterday. I finally got to talk to my RE (let's call her Dr. T) and we came up with a plan that could work. Here's the final answer:
wait for my period and then start stims on day 2 and then add in gan.erelix. I still need to go over all of the details with a nurse, but this should keep things moving along and will avoid the risk of another lu.pron induced cyst.

Possible complications -- my body has decided to rejoice in it's lack of lu.pron and has -- against all predictions -- decided to start spotting and getting all crampy. Awesome. Not exactly what I was looking for, since its pretty clear that the cyst isn't going to be gone yet.

So what does this mean? This means that I could totally get screwed since if I get my period either after tomorrow or before 24 Nov. Because if it comes in that middle period I will be out of town during some critical time of monitoring or retrieval or transfer. I'd drag the whole family here for Thanksgiving if my grandfather wasn't 94 and hooked up to a dialysis machine 3x a week. So I'll get over it and we will just move on when we can.

After a period of bitching, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon yesterday basically doing things that make me happy -- I went to the local/ organic butcher that just opened and bought all sorts of yummy meats for the next round of hearty (and healthy) fall cooking. I also went to the regular grocery store and bought all sorts of yummy organic fruits and veggies so now we are all set. I made yummy miso-marinated scallops with poached asparagus and watched a movie while the Boy was out with friends. And for tonight I have an Amish-raised chicken coated with fresh tarragon butter and roasting in the oven . I do love roast chicken.

So I am just doing things that make me happy -- reading good books, cooking, going to the gym -- and trying to not focus on what is going on with this cycle. No other approach really makes sense unless I want to make myself completely crazy.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Three, two, one...

Houston, we have a problem.

And that problem is a big ass functional cyst on my left ovary that is pumping out estrogen and delaying my period and generally fucking up this cycle.

The RE gave me two options:
- stay on lupron for another week and check it out, and see if we can start stims then
- cancel this cycle, wait for my god-forsaken period to arrive, and then start on cd2.

He frankly wasn't very confident that a cyst of this size (3.2 cm) would go away in a week, and I went over the calendar with the nurse and I will be in lovely Ohio for Thanksgiving during the week of ET with the revised schedule, so I've called it off.


So I am basically benched until this cyst goes away, and then I get to start all over again.

Questions to the peanut gallery:
- Have any of you had this happen? How long until the cyst resolves and you get your period?
- What have your RE's done to prevent this from occurring -- I'd prefer this not to be a repeated event.

Oh I am so frustrated I could explode. I can't DO anything except wait.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Waiting again -- Updated

I've done 10 days of lu.pron shots. And then 4 more to go before I go in to get bw and another vagicam to give me the green light to start stims.

But I was supposed to start the quasi-period thing a few days ago, and while there has been all sorts of mysterious cramping, there is no sign at ALL that I am going to start to bleed. None. Zero.

I find this annoying and ironic -- month after month of desperately hoping not to see the tell-tale signs of my monthly cycle kicking in and yet seeing it arrive on an annoyingly regular schedule, now that I do want to see it, it's nowhere to be found.

So I'm on what would be Day 31 of my cycle, and nothing. Nothing. No. Thing. Latest my period ever showed was on Day 30. So what to do?

Any ideas? Is it supposed to be later than normal? Normally I wouldn't care about a couple of extra days here and there (yeah, that's not entirely true, but let's go with it). However, we are supposed to travel on Thanksgiving Day, so I don't have a whole lot of wiggle room. Probably not the greatest planning, but we thought we had a big enough buffer.

I sense that I am going to be placing a neurotic call to the RE's office tomorrow.


UPDATE (because I'm sure that the rest of you are as gripped by this saga as I am. I am one crazy-ass neurotic woman right now.)

So I called bright and early and spoke with one of the nurses, who are lovely, but usually can't help much. And then I sat around and waited all day for one of the REs to call me back.
And I waited.
And waited.
And stared at the phone.
And waited some more. And stared harder.
And even though it's a mobile phone, decided that I couldn't go to the grocery store, or the gym, or even take a shower because there might be a call, and I wanted to be sure that I was somewhere quiet when it came.
But there was no call.
So right before 5pm closing time, I broke down and called back. No real answer, except I will go in a day early (Wednesday, not Thurs) for more bloodwork and another u/s. Not a very satisfying answer. So I am just hoping my body kicks into gear.
I'd rather lie on the sofa and rest after this exhausting day of waiting, but I have to go to a birthday party. I guess it's good I will leave the apartment since the Boy has told me that my moping is starting to get to him. (Actually -- he'd like me to amend that for accuracy. "Bugging the living shit out of him" is closer to the truth.)