So now my attention is going back to le cycle.
I've been really trying not to count every last second of the bcps, but I have. I'm pretty freaking psyched that I have only two pills left, because this long break from any real forward progress has left me feeling pretty convinced that our someday baby is just a figment of my imagination. I mean, I'm taking birth control pills for gosh sakes. Because yeah, we apparently needed help not getting pregnant. Actually, we did a good job of not getting pregnant all on our own, thank you very much.
I know I know -- I chose this path and could have been practically at transfer already. But things have been so crazy with job hunting, and Thanksgiving travel is imminent, so I still think this was the right decision . But not doing anything to create our mystery baby just puts it more and more distant in the future, and I'm just ready to get on with it already.
I keep taking out all of the meds and looking longingly at the needles -- I actually miss the shots and can't wait to start them again. I'm super excited about packing everything up and doing all of the chemistry experiment mixing (my favorite toy as a young girl was a chemistry set, so I guess it should be no surprise) when I am at my Mom's for the holiday. She has just redone her guest bathroom and has promised me a whole drawer and loads of counter space for all of my paraphernalia. I'm getting all happy just thinking about it.
After this cycle -- and my enthusiasm for it -- came to a screeching halt with the evil cyst, I guess I'm now allowing myself to start getting excited again. Let's face it: I AM excited, because maybe, just maybe, it will work. One thing is for certain, it's certainly a whole lot more likely to get us our mystery baby than these damned bcps. So here's looking forward to another appointment with the vagicam on Monday. I'm ready to get this show on the road.