Saturday, November 7, 2009

No going back on this

Oh lovely internet ladies. I read all of your advice, and agonized all day. And I talked to the Boy and to my Mom and to my dog (sometimes you just have to talk it out) and I decided to wait and go the bcp route.

You all gave me very thoughtful and helpful advice, and I don't want to appear that I am not taking it into consideration, but, well.... Here's really it: I can't miss Thanksgiving. I can't even come close to thinking about missing Thanksgiving.
- My mom is getting tired from her daily cancer treatment (which started last week) and she was very honest that she doesn't have the energy to cook, even though she insisted that I should do what was right for me.
- My grandfather, who is 94 and possibly my favorite person in the entire world, has told me several times how much he is looking forward to keeping me and the Boy company while we cook on Wednesday.
- The Boy's parents (who are unaware of our TTC status/ challenges) are flying in on Wednesday, and so would be mighty curious about why their children weren't there yet.
- Wednesday is my parents anniversary, or would have been had my dad not died 25 years ago, and I don't like my mom to be alone.

The Boy knows this, and knows that I would have been a complete and utter fucking basket case for the next 10 days while we waited to see how long this would take, and he asked me to wait.
He also knows that, much though I love my family, sometimes I get mighty stressed out when I am home, and so he was worried that the stress might not be 100% optimal during the time the little embryo will be trying to snug in.

So I'm holding off.
I hope to hell it is the right decision, but I've already popped the bcp so there is really no going back now. To be honest, I'm already regretting it a little bit and thinking about what would happen if I did the shots and the bcp, but even I'm not that crazy. I promise.

So here's what I'm going to do to while away this time: I'm going to set a goal and try to go to the gym every single day between now and 23 Nov so that I will get the bloody scale to read in the proper decile (and even that is not the decile of my 20s...) by the time I depart for Thanksgiving. It's ambitious, but I think I can pull it off for 2 weeks +.

If you had 2 weeks that you needed to fill to ensure you were appropriately distracted, what would you do? (And remember -- I have no job so I have loads of time!!)


  1. Hearing those reasons, I can definitely understand where you are coming from. Now you don't have to worry about changing all of the logistics. Staying away from being a basket case is always a good thing!

    As far as things to fill up your time, I think you should go all biggest loser on yourself. Go to walk on the treadmill for a couple of hours...attend a couple of aerobics classes. Plan and shop for some healthy tasty meals. Then you will feel better that you have tried your best! Speaking of, I think I need to do that myself!

  2. I re-read the comments from your last post and am surprised by how many people voted for you not to wait. I think the reasons you've listed are all very important reasons for waiting individually -- combine them, and I know you've made the right decision.

    Just think: if you rushed it, and it didn't work out, you would always wonder what would have happened if you had waited for a "better" time. Now, you can relax and be confident that this is what is best for all three of you: You, The Boy, and Baby.

    Thinking of you!


  3. I'm so glad you were able to come to a decision that works for you! I think waiting makes the most sense given what you described will be taking place the week of thanksgiving! This way you'll be calm and focused when you start stimming after the holidays :)
    What would I do if I had the time and needed the distraction? I would probably learn some sort of new craft ... like maybe make some of my own jewlery or something. I'd also read copious amounts of books ... but I'm kind of nerdy that way :)

    Have fun!

  4. I'm glad you feel good about your decision. If I had 2 weeks to fill - here's what I'd do.
    1) Bake goodies, cook meals and freeze them
    2) Christmas shop early for eveyone on my list
    3) Clean the house from top to bottom, including the windows.

    Good luck!

  5. Your decision sounds wise. I know waiting is hard (believe me, I know!) but sometimes I think it's necessary. As for going to the gym - I'll be your cheerleader if you'll be mine?! I definitely could use the encouragement to go daily!