This blog is about my life, my quest to build my family, and the random stuff that comes up along the way
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I had something approximating a panic attack last night. Why? Because my severance runs out in 2 weeks, the job I just got offered isn't a great fit, the Boy still has no prospects for work, and I am trying to get pregnant. via IVF. with my insurance that I will start having to pay for in 3 months.
oh yeah -- and I live in the most expensive city in the US (New york) and am careening into my 40th birthday.
what the fuck am I thinking? I think I am finally breaking under the stress.
I'm a 42-year old (yikes I hate writing that) woman struggling to maintain my equilibrium (and sanity) while trying to start a family. Turns out that neither is all that straightforward. And now that I have a baby boy, I'm learning to balance family and work without losing my mind!
Mar 2013 -- Go in for Day 2 blood work to figure out where period is and learn I am miraculously pregnant. Beta #1 173. Bleeding at 5w. Gestational sac small and large subchorionic hematoma. But betas still doubling (up to 22,000). At 6w1d fetal pole found and slow heartbeat (65bpm). At 7w2d no heartbeat. M/c #2.
Sep -Dec 2012 -- I've seriously lost track. 2 or 3 more IVF cycles
Aug 2012 -- Let's take a look around -- hysteroscopy.
April 2012 -- IVF #4. 15 eggs retrieved. 14 mature. 6 fertilize. Transfer 3 3-day 8-celled embryos. Beta 1 (12dp3dt) = 39. Beta 2 (14dp3dt) = 104. Beta 3 (16dp3dt) = 264. Beta 4 (19dp3dt) = 920. Beta 5 (22dp5dt or 5w4d) = 2664. U/s at 5w4d shows sac right where it should be. U/s at 6w4d shows 7.7mm embryo with strong heartbeat. 3 days later gone. M/c# 1.
Feb 2012 -- IVF #3. 14 eggs retrieved. 11 mature. Only 2 fertilize. Transfer 1 3-day 8-cell embryo. BFN.
Feb 2011 -- Healthy baby boy born at 36 weeks!
Jun 2010 -- FET #2. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. Beta 1 (10dp5dt) = 254. Beta 2 (13dp5dt) = 1326. Scan at 5w6d shows fetal pole measuring 4.55mm and heart beginning to flicker! U/s at 7w6d shows strong hb and 17.2mm.
Mar-Apr 2010 -- IVF #2. 13 eggs retrieved. 5 on day 3. Transfer 2 8-cell embryos. BFN.
Jan-Feb 2010 -- FET #1. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. BFN.
Nov-Dec 2009 -- IVF #1. 18 eggs retrieved, 7 on day 3, 5 on day 5. Transfer 1, freeze 2. BFN.
Oct 2009 -- Ready to go! But surprise -- annual clinic 2-week closure.
Jul-Sep 2009 -- Keep trying a few more months, since Boy thinks we need to give it a bit more time.
May-June 2009 -- Go see several REs. Decide to jump to IVF. Full set of bloodwork done. Ridiculously normal.
Feb-Apr 2009 -- Clo.mid, clo.mid and more clo.mid. Nada.
Feb 2009 -- Talk to OB about why I'm not knocked up yet. Have good FSH (6.2) and respond well to Clo.mid (7 follicles)
Nov 2008 -- Married. Yippee!
Aug 2008 -- Stop birth control. Figure my dress would hide an early pregnancy. Hah.