Beta more than doubled again to 920. Doubling time of 40 hours. I'm (I can't believe I'm writing this) 5w1d. Or 19dp3dt.
Per the smart people on the internet, my beta levels are still well within the normal range. I just appear to be 1-2 days behind.
And estrogen, while still low, is on an upswing at 41. Progesterone 23 (due to the 1 inch needle I jab into my ass nightly).
The nurse and RE seem very happy with where things are going.
I am still terrified, as this is just so much lower than my values last time.
Just for recap, because typing these numbers calms my brain, here's where things are:
u/s at 22dp3dt or 5w4d
My one other experience with pregnancy?
u/s at 5w6d
Frankly, I'm still convinced that this is going to end badly. Here's my options:
- Nothing in my uterus on Thursday. I think this is not that likely because doubling has been normal, but it's a possibility.
- Empty sac.
- Sac and fetal pole but miscarriage sometime before 12 weeks. Because I read research (thank you, google!) that indicates that beta levels lower than the median are indicators of increased miscarriage risk, especially in older women (happy birthday to me). And I can't even think of how horrific this would be, but I know already that it would gut me.
- Sac and fetal pole and then heartbeat and other good stuff. I can't yet wrap my head around this one.
So yeah, I am portending doom. Not because I want failure, but because I need to protect my tender soft parts that are trying to attach to the idea of something growing inside of me. I want this to work quite badly, and I will be devastated if the little flicker of life goes out.
This is hard.