Friday, May 4, 2012

Am I just being set up for disaster?

Beta today is 264.  I'm 16dp3dt.  Doubling time is 35 hours.

On the chart from BabyMed I appear to be really quite close to their average (which I assume is a median) for 19 dpo, which is 303.  (And thanks for making it impossible to include my fancy chart.)

I go back for Beta #4 on Monday and then have an u/s (are you kidding me?) scheduled for Thursday.

But my E2 is still a bit low (no, I don't recall what it is), and this started so low that I can't get past the fear right now that this will go on for a bit and get me convinced it is going to work and then all come crashing down.  Last time I felt much more confident since my 10dp5dt beta was 254 and it was above 1300  3 days later.

Only time will tell, I guess. But sweet Jesus do I hate this part.

So, in summary, today, things look good-ish*, but I am scared sh*tless that this will all end badly.

*I have to qualify this because I don't want to jinx it.


  1. i think i'd be more concerned if the number started higher and wasn't doubling properly. since i'm an expert, i'm gonna guess that this little guy/gal implanted late? am hoping that that is the case and that you can rest assured soon enough :o) xoxo.

  2. The mind games are so hard to avoid but I'm gonna stay positive and think that this pregnancy is going to stick!! Yay!!

  3. i don't know how you could feel any other way. *I* on the other hand, have the luxury of being able to feel very excited and optimistic on your behalf. it all sounds good!!!

    Repeat to yourself as often as needed: as far as I know right now, things are going well. I am pregnant. As far as I know right now...

    hang in there : )


  4. Ok. I'll be honest; if I had a number like that--and I have had numbers like that--I'd be panicked, too. But I don't think my beta with Tiny Boy was much different yours. What's encouraging, I think, isn't the number so much as the doubling time, which is perfect.

    I like Mo's refrain.

  5. I'm hoping that your numbers will keep getting better.

  6. Good numbers! Hoping things continue looking great :).

  7. I also think Mo's refrain is the right one. And that it's the fact that the number is doubling that matters. Anything can happen. I guess that's the sad knowledge that comes with being in this part of the bloggy world. BUT the fact is that the number is going up (exactly the direction it should be).

  8. OMG I am so behind --- CONGRATULATIONS!!! there is so much variation that it is hard to predict. Follow Mo's advice, and I will be super excited for you! How wondeerful!!!

  9. YAY!!!!!! I am so, so, so excited and hopeful for you right now!!! But GAD, the fear. I too don't see how you could feel any other way.

  10. The fear is pretty much impossible to let go. But I'm going to stay as excited for you as possible and very hopeful.

  11. Oh sweetie, I wish there were as little uncertainty as possible as you endure this agonizing wait. As long as there's a chance, and a SOLID one, that you're actually being set up for tremendous joy, I'm keeping that foremost in my mind. Much love.

  12. I'm with Mo.

    I also have found these two refrains to be helpful:

    So far so good.
    One day at a time.

    Hoping for you!