Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Snake eyes

It didn't take.
Needless to say, we are pretty disappointed.

I'm trying not to wallow (although I just bought all of the ingredients to bake a cake tomorrow, so I guess that's sort of wallowing...) but I'm sad. And I feel sorry for myself. And generally resent the people who just get pregnant really easily.

The bright side?
- we have 2 5day blastocysts hanging out in the freezer
- we took a very conservative approach this time (only put one embryo back in) so statistically, this was more likely to not work than to work
- It was only our very first try with either IVF or IUI, so we learned something about how I respond to the stimulation drugs (and I responded pretty well, also a good thing).
- On our vacation over new year's, I can sit in the steam room/ sauna/ hot tub all I want, and I can drink.

That's all the bright side I can come up with. I'm sounding better than I feel, but I'm guessing that soon the effort will be too much and I will get all weepy again.


  1. I'm so sorry...I was really hoping it would happen for you.

    You're allowed to wallow and weep. I shall hold your hand and wallow and weep with you, my friend.

    I hear you on resenting those that get pregnant easily. I just went on facebook and noticed that my best friend from fifth grade who is only a year younger than me, only met her husband two years ago, only got married a year ago and has already given birth to a baby. I have been with Mr. Hatter for 15 years and married 8 of those and no pregnancy and she just goes and gets married and pregnant within a couple of months. It's just so unfair.

    What kind of cake are you baking?


  2. That stinks! I have been reading off and on. Unfortunately, I understand how you feel. Take care of yourself!!!

  3. I am so sorry - I was really hoping we'd both have lots to celebrate this Christmas - damn, this sucks. But you are right, unfortunately, for some of us, this whole IVF thing is a process - we learn something new from every cycle - it's just a matter of how many cycles you can emotionally or financially afford to do and hoping that it all comes together before you reach the end of the road. Once again, I am so, so sorry. Wish I had better words of comfort. Enjoy your cake, hot tub and alcohol. Maybe the FETs will bring us both joy in the New Year. Hugs to you.

  4. I'm so sorry! :( An IVF negative is so much harder than others because of all the work and injections and time and energy put into it. Hopefully this cycle will still result in a BFP for you with those totsicles and like pp said, every cycle is a learning experience. You responded well, you had good embies. There is no reason to believe that this won't work next time. Small comfort now, I know, but you do have lots of reasons to hope for next time.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear this news. You take as much time as you need to vent, wallow, feel sorry for yourself, eat cake, drink wine - whatever you feel like at the time.

    A BFN sucks anyway, but a BFN this time of year - extra special festive suckage.

    Thinking of you.

  6. Oh, hon.

    Negatives are hard enough on a natural cycle, but ten times harder on a stimulated one. Conservative or not, it's heartbreaking to get to close and then ....nothing.

    My heart is hurting for you today, and I'm hoping and praying that your next cycle turns out the opposite! I've got several bloggy friends who got a negative on their fresh cycle and a positive on their FET, so keep holding onto hope. Will you use both blasts next time? The good news is that a FET is quicker and easier (as far as medications/monitoring goes) and will hopefully fly by.

    In the meantime, take good care of yourself. Do whatever you need to feel better.

    And drink lots of champagne on New Years. This may be your last opportunity to for a while!


  7. I'm so sorry. The fact that you have some on ice is good, but it doesn't make this part easier. Enjoy your champagne and hot tub. :)

  8. I'm sorry I'm so behind on your posts, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this round didn't work. Wishing you lots of luck with the FET - I've heard of so many people having success on a FET...
    I think champagne and hot tubs are just what you need :).