Friday, July 30, 2010

Other side of the looking glass

I had the most bizarre experience yesterday: I went to my first obstetric appointment and, while special consideration was given to my advanced maternal age and heightened anxiety about this pregnancy because of the long road I took to get here, overall I was treated just like any other pregnant woman!

It was weird. My OB was very interested in hearing about my IVF path to pregnancy (she knew the clo.mid part, since she prescribed it), but once we got the "how did you get here and what meds are you still taking" part out of the way, she mapped out the major milestones FOR THE REST OF THE PREGNANCY.

People, she wrote dates on paper.

Things like a due date and when I am supposed to stop air travel. And while I was super duper excited to see this all laid out, especially because I am a huge planner and really like to know what comes next, I was worried that doing that jinxed it and that, by the time we walked into the next room and I disrobed it would all be over. So I got vaguely nervous during what should have been just a totally normal conversation. I held it together, but I definitly felt as if I were tempting fate.

But, like many of you very very wise women have said, there is really very little I can do to screw this up, and all of a sudden becoming superstitious is not going to make this any easier nor is it going to actually blow it. So maybe I should just park the superstitious bit for a while. We'll see how that goes!

Once I got to the exam room, I took a deep breath (actually, during the breast exam I took several, since my boobs are SO sore that it hurt a LOT), and I actually believed that the little bean would be there, ok. And guess what? It was. Thinking positively actually did not call forth hail and locusts, but actually just made me feel better.

I think it was because I was treated as if I was a normal, not-batshit-crazy pregnant woman I almost started to believe I was one.

The details? It's 22mm long (actually, it was measured in centimeters this time, so 2.2cm), which is 8w6d by her calculation, and I was 9w0d, so it's pretty much right on target. It has a heartbeat of about 150bpm, and it moved. And the yolk sac was visible this time and looks perfect. Everything, weirdly, is ok. Can I say Yay for moving while I am looking? Because that just makes me so happy.

Of course, I had a brief freakout after I left about why it was measuring a day behind, when last time it was measuring 2 days ahead, but then I said "that's why they say +/- 3 days" to myself and I calmed down. Mostly. After googling CRL measurements and realizing that it was, in fact, ok.

And the best part? I get to go back in a week and see it again! Yippee!! (And yes, this was scheduled before we took our peek yesterday, so it's not because something didn't look right, but because she knows I'm neurotic.)

Wow. I'm still pregnant. And I have an OB. And a plan. (Actually, we have possibilities for the plan, so more on that later.) Wow.


  1. Yay!!! So happy you are at this point, and it moved, and you got to see it! Very very exciting.

    As for the measurements, at 9w6d, I was measuring 9w4d, but then at 12w2d, I was measuring 13w0d (by a different doctor). I think that when they are moving they do that inchworm thing where they flex their spine, so it can be really hard to measure. And there is some error just form how the doctor moves the mouse, and exactly where they click... so I don't think that it is any better than a rough estimate. And yours is perfect.

    You are lucky you get to look again in a week. It's been nearly a week since I saw what was going on in there, and I am starting to worry again... I ordered a doppler, and I'll let you know how things go with that.

  2. YAY!!! Wonderful, wonderful news! Isn't it the weirdest thing to be treated like à normal pregnant woman?

  3. Woohoo! So happy to hear you had a great appointment! You are a NORMAL PREGNANT LADY! :)

  4. Awesome! So happy to hear this, and super-happy to hear that you're getting the normal pregnant lady treatment :).

  5. such awesome news! I am so happy to hear you had a taste of 'normal'. What a weird and wonderful place...

  6. You are NORMAL:) And that's wonderful news. I'm so glad that she mapped out what is to come and that you really are on the other side of looking at all of this. I don't think the superstition disappears overnight, but I do hope its voice grows a whole lot quieter.

  7. it's strange to be treated like a *normal* person, yes?? on the phone yesterday, dr D kept saying to me "if you were a 'normal' woman ..." a few times. ugh, i'm atypical even for ivf peeps!!!! but i guess i've always been *special*. bleck!!

    i hope you're starting to be able to enjoy this?? work sounds like it's been really busy lately, i hope it dies down for you soon so you can relax :o)

  8. AWESOME!!!! :) So glad that you are just a plain ol' preggo, now! :)

  9. Take that, regular pregnant lady! Wonderful, wonderful news.