No good reason -- nothing has changed to lead me to believe that I should feel the shadow of impending doom, but I'm scared. I'm worried that because I told one person that I was pregnant I have doomed everything.
I'm scared that this next u/s will show that the heart has stopped beating. Or if not this one, the one after that. Or that the other myriad tests they run will show something horribly wrong.
And that this will all come crashing down. This little, tiny sand castle of hope that I have built will just get washed away.
I knew how to prepare myself for the heartbreak and sadness of failing IVF. I knew how to hurt and rant and rail and then dust myself off and move ahead. But this? Failure now? I've never been here before and I don't know how to prepare for pain and sadness. So I am terrified.