Wednesday, September 23, 2009

All or nothing

Have you ever noticed how one lousy thing in the morning can throw off your entire world view?

Yesterday, I woke up tired and a little achy, and then took my dog out. By the end of his walk, I was convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that all of my "dog park friends" (a species that is unique to big cities where you see a lot of the same dogs in the parks) really didn't like me after all and thought I was one of the crazy annoying people that we all collectively make fun of, and that they just waited for me to leave to make fun of me as well. I'm pretty sure I haven't been in junior high for a really long long time, but it felt just that lousy anyway.

Turns out I was wrong, and it's just my insecurities about everything rearing their ugly heads and making me all neurotic and anxious. Turns out that one of them broke through the "we are only friends here in the park and know each others' dogs' name, but not their human owners' name" and asked me to grab lunch later this week. Yeah!

Seriously, it felt like some sort of breakthrough. Because, yeah, I know I am kind of an anxiety-ridden nut right now, but it feels pretty good to be able to hide that and make new, non-pregnant, non-mom friends, because those are in pretty short supply right now.

So I am boxing up all of my fears that the cool kids don't like me, and putting them back on the shelf with my 8th grade yearbook, and looking forward to lunch later this week.

1 comment:

  1. I have days like that, where I'm sure I'm irritating everyone and they don't really like me, they're just being nice. Usually it passes. :)

    Thanks for your words on my pup. I know that each day it will get a little better, but right now it still hurts like a physical pain. :(