Monday, March 29, 2010

Running out of time?

Today I went in for my first monitoring appt this cycle. There are 3 follicles, each at about 10mm.


Three is bad.

Last time after 5 days of stimulation there were 9, and I was anxious that it was so low, but then ended up with a whole bunch at the end (18 were retrieved).

Three is even worse because my RE upped my drugs this time to try to get me "up the curve" faster instead of all at the end. But apparently that is just not working. In fact, it appears to be having the exact opposite effect, which means I am panicking.

My RE is out of town this week, and so I saw another one this morning. Here's her comments:
"Hmm, this is very different than last time"
"This is quite disappointing"
"How old are you, again?"
"Well, your AMH levels look good, but this test is from 6 months ago."

When pressed as to why there would be such a difference, I get: "You know, I've had 2 patients in the last 6 months who were showing great ovarian reserve levels and had good response, and then just a few months later, their ovarian reserve just fell off a cliff, and they really didn't respond to the stimulation drugs anymore. Do you want to check on yours again? That test will be back in 3 weeks."

I told her that wasn't exactly reassuring. She didn't appear to be interested.

So in the absence of reassurance, I'm fucking panicking. I feel as if I've been punched in the chest and I can't catch my breath. I feel as if I am watching everything I wanted just turn to shit in front of my eyes.

And yeah, I know I'm being melodramatic, but I'm scared as hell that I've missed my window to make this work.


  1. Delurking to offer some hope. Mine did the same thing. Four cycles and I went from six to a whopping two follicles while basically maxed out on gonadotropins. However, one of those two follicles is the daughter I'm currently carrying.

    I wish you much luck in your journey!

  2. I always had crap cycles but now it looks like I was just a slow stimmer. Yes, my numbers weren't great, but there was still plenty of hope in these old ovaries. On stim day 14 (FOURTEEN!!!), I wasn't much further along than you can then I took off. My RE believes that as long as your E2 keeps rising, your ovaries are still doing their thing. If it gives you hope, here was my (succesful) cycle:

    Day 5
    Follies: 1 @ 12m, a few <9mm
    E2: 98.5

    Day 8
    Follies: 1@ 8.5mm, 1 @ 9.5mm and 1 @ 10mm
    E2: 162

    Day 11:
    2 follies, one at 11mm, one at 9.5mm
    E2: 239

    Day 14
    E2: 694

    Day 16:
    E2: 987

    Day 18:
    E2: 1,334

    6 follies at ER, 5 fertilized, 4 embryos still going at ET, 3 of which were excellent = 1 healthy bean @ 17 weeks on Wednesday.

    Good luck, day 5 is way too early to make any guesses, despite that lame-o fill-in RE.

  3. I don't think a Day 5 report is gonna tell you anything. I had this happen on my last cycle, which ended up being my best. Slow starts are not bad (the nurse kept saying it to me), just as long as your e2 keeps going up. Hang in there, don't lose hope!