Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Calmed down

OK. So I overreacted and was a bit hysterical. And I admit that. Because 3 today is still more than zero, and if there is any correlation to last cycle, I just start slow and then ramp up.

And I am responding, so that's good: E2 was 260.

It's just weird -- last time there were many more follicles (9) and E2 was 170. I think I just don't like it because I don't know what to expect, and every time I think I understand something and know what to expect, I get thrown a curveball.

And I, who like to control everything in the world around me, don't hit curveballs all that well. In fact, I'm more likely to end up with a black eye from not even seeing it coming.

I also think I freaked out because of the whole thyroid thing. But my full results came back today (in advance of my appointment with the specialist tomorrow) and everything -- seriously everything -- is really normal, and not even near the edges of the ranges. Free T4, Free T3, antibodies, T3 uptake -- I'm a picture of perfect health in this regard, and I don't have any of the clinical manifestations of hypothyroidism, and I generally feel just fine. So it's only this TSH that's off kilter, and hopefully tomorrow I will hear good news about the effect on my fertility (or lack of effect, actually).

So I've un-freaked out for the last 12 hours or so, and am trying to stay very positive and will think "oh you just stimulate slowly -- there will be more" or "really, you just need one" or "there were 12 antral follicles, you have a lot to work with" or (my current fave) "this RE was new and sucked at finding the follicles and counting." I'm pretty much thinking that all of these are possibly true, so I'm not going to freak out today.

Tomorrow? Totally a different question. I might freak out tomorrow. But today I will not.

More to come tomorrow after monitoring


  1. Umm, you might have also freaked out because of all the insane hormones you're on! Don't discount that too!

    Seriously, freak out all you want, it is part of the process in my opinion. That's what the blog is for, that is what we're here for, to talk you down.

    Good luck tomorrow!!

  2. Sending you lots of "grow follie" vibes. I really hope that they're just building up slowly to be superstars. I never understand how one cycle response can be totally different than another with the same drugs, timing, etc. My nurses always just say "each cycle is different." Well, duh, that's what I just said!

  3. Go follies go! Lots of luck to you. Hope the freak out stays away! :)

  4. Sorry I missed the last post! I'm glad you're feeling better and that your E2 levels were responding properly :).
    Hang in there, you're doing great!