Saturday, January 16, 2010


First, thanks to you for your many thoughtful comments on my last post - you gave me some good stuff to think about. In fact, I tool some of your very helpful questions with me yesterday morning when I went to the RE.

Pretty much the only thing that went right about the appt was that the bus came right as I got to the stop, so it was a quick commute at 700am on a Saturday. The rest, well, that was a shit show.

1) At my clinic, which is more and more reminiscent of the DMV, morning monitoring is done on a first-come, first-served basis. So you get there, fill out a little slip of why you are there, and then wait to be called by first name only (for privacy, of course). I checked the box "starting a frozen embryo transfer cycle." Then the crack receptionist looked at it and asked me why I was there, to which I responded "I'm starting a frozen transfer cycle today." And then, instead of sending me to billing to make sure I was all paid up (still no copay, people!), she told me to wait. While waiting, about 1000 people arrived. Then a nurse called me and said "why are you here?" to which I responded "I'm here to start an FET cycle, just like I checked on the sign in sheet." And then the receptionist wheeled around and yelled "You said you were here for your transfer." Ummm, no sweetie, that's not what I said, and I also checked off the fucking correct box on the stupid ass piece of paper you gave me, so if you bothered to read it, that should have prevented this misunderstanding before we started.

So then they sent me to billing. Behind the hordes who had arrived while I was waiting. Then the nurse calls me to do b/w, but I'm still in the billing line, so it's a whole big ordeal to get me to the front of the line before I go back, and it all sounds really petty and small, but it's 730am on a Saturday, and I am at a damn cattle call and I don't like it.

2) After b/w they sent me back to the waiting room to wait for an u/s room. And in walks a couple with their stroller and they park next to me. Yep. They brought in a small child (around 9 months, or so maybe) and that child immediately started screaming, so then was picked up and bounced on the lap of the woman next to me. Because that's what I want at the RE -- to sit next to a woman bouncing a baby on her lap.

3) I had my U/S (all clear) and then had to wait AGAIN to speak to a nurse to go over the protocol. By the time they called me, it was 830am. I got there at 720. I've been sitting next to a woman with a baby, and I'm not even going to talk about the couple across from me (it will make me seem mean and petty, so I won't share. But just let me say, it made it feel more and more like a bloody circus there. And not a good circus, but a kind where the clowns are all scary and you feel like you need to wash your hands.) So I get instructions that say "take lu.pron for 2 week and then come back and we will check up on you."

I thought it would be pretty reasonable to ask about the full protocol, just so I knew the dates, etc. The nurse gave me such attitude about how they really didn't need to do that now since nothing will happen until 2 weeks from now, etc. etc., that I was practically stunned into silence. But only practically, because I have a lot of questions, and I used this opportunity to share them all:
- I need to know the dates for monitoring and transfer, so that I can plan the rest of my life (including my new job) around this process
- why put me on a lup.ron protocol since it gave me a cyst last time?
- if we stay on this protocol, can I come in for monitoring before 2 weeks to check on cysts, so I lose less time if there is one?
- does this FET process really need to take a full 4.5 weeks? And why didn't we start on Day 2? I thought we were going as quickly as possible?
- Can you tell me the grading of the embryos that we have on ice? Can you be specific?

Now, I know that a lot of these questions are more appropriately for the RE herself (and the nurse was able to answer only the first), but was sort of at wit's end yesterday since I've tried to get the RE on the phone and couldn't do better than trading messages, so when the nurse refused to show me the embryology report, I pretty much lost my patience. I then waited more time to speak to "patient services" who really are just there to prevent people like me from publicly losing their shit.

So after unloading on patient services, I set up an appointment with the next avail RE in the practice for Tuesday. Alas, the Boy would rather speak to our RE, since aside from all of the BS, we really do quite like her. So tomorrow I will reschedule for my RE, and in the meantime, still take the lu.pron, and wait for transfer in mid-Feb.

Is it bad that the crazy has already come back to visit before I even started the lu.pron? That's probably not a good omen for the next few weeks....


  1. Ok, I'm sorry, but that is RIDICULOUS. I cannot believe you haven't switched clinics by now.

    You are a PERSON, not a number, and deserve to be treated as such.

    I'm sorry that they put you through that shit, when I'm sure you much rather would have been sleeping in on a Saturday morning! I hope you are able to speak to your RE soon and she can reassure you and answer all of your questions.


  2. Ugh, I would have punched that snotty receptionist right in the nose. And don't even get me started on people who bring children to fertility clinics. My clinic has big signs all over that asked people to respect others and not bring children. But yeah, people still ignore that. I can't stand being the one next to the kids, especially when they act cute and the moms look at me and smile that look-how-adorable-my-kid-is type smile like I'm supposed to marvel at how cute rubbing their previous fertility in my face can be. UGH, what an annoying Saturday morning for you!

    But just think, you're one step closer to having that snowbaby(ies) back with mama!

  3. Holy moly! Now that's a circus! Sounds like we'll be cycle buddies for our FET (I'll probably be a couple of weeks behind you).

    Good on you for not taking no for an answer!

  4. That sounds like a horrible appointment! I know it's not an easy job, working in a medical office, but I'll never understand people who can't LISTEN. I mean, they asked you the question, why can't they listen to the answer? And retain the information. It's not rocket science.
    Sorry about getting stuck next to the kid too. I would mention that to the patient services person too - they need to provide a different space (an empty office or something) for people with little kids. It's only right...
    I hope you get some answers to your questions, and soon!

  5. Sounds rather unpleasant, but good work advocating for yourself. My policy was that I wanted to see the RE every week, and I usually had to throw a temper tantrum in order for them to 'squeeze me in' even when I was in the office every 24 hours.

    As for the kids thing, this is a complaint I see a lot, especially in NYC-clinics. And I'm a bit torn about it because the honest truth is that will be me in a couple of months. Sitting in the waiting room with my baby. We pay our nanny on the books so we can't afford to add overtime. I estimate at least 15 hours a week for cycling when I'm cycling (45 minutes to each appt, 1.5 hours, 45 minutes home every 48 hours because my body is an uneven responder to the exact same drugs month after month) and with only 32 hours of childcare I can't lose almost half of it to cycling. I wish we had family in the city or that I had friends who didn't work, but that's not the case. I go to about 90% of my appointments alone (we have female factor IF only) but if my husband came with me it would be because I was worried about what they were going to say and didn't want to be alone (nothing like notifying him repeatedly that our cycle had been canceled via his secretary). We also have NO insurance coverage so we are paying every penny of our treatments in cash and it makes us second guess every take-out meal or cab ride in the city. I guess I just wish that other women at least knew that I realize they don't want to see my baby and that I am torn about it and wish that I had a cheap, safe place to leave my baby (or that the clinic would even just let me wait in the lobby and call my cell when they're ready - they NEVER agree to that).