Right now, the Boy and are having a discussion over how many of the embryos to transfer, and I fear that we are never going to agree.
Here's the situation: we really really don't want twins, and we really really don't want to have to "reduce" a multiple pregnancy. (Please please bear in mind that this is totally based on our personal situation, and has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone else's choices, current pregnancies, etc., but is just a discussion about what is right for us as a family.)
Now, as you may recall, we chose to transfer only 1 day 5 blast after our first IVF in Nov/ Dec. Obviously, it didn't take. We have two more on ice. The Boy is more anti-twin than I am , and is leaning very strongly towards transferring only 1 again. My perspective is different -- we have 2 on ice, and I'd like to use them both.
None of the 3 blasts (the one we used or the two frozen) are "excellent" quality; the way our lab rates them, they were all "good", but that wasn't too troubling, since our clinic only grades 10% of all blasts as "excellent".
And I know that, whether the embryos are going to work or not is essentially already determined, so whether we do the two at the same time or one after another, we have essentially the same likelihood of getting pregnant, but it just takes longer.
But I'm getting older by the day, and I think that (a) I'm getting older and while I responded well, my fertile years are not unlimited and (b) I could make a lot of really crap eggs, and we aren't going to get that diagnostic information very quickly if we only transfer one at a time, and (c) there is a physical and emotional toll that this takes on me/ us that I'd prefer to avoid repeating unnecessarily.
Any one have any ideas here? To be honest, we are sort of deadlocked, which is very rare for us.
(Note how evenhanded I am being in the presentation of this argument... turns out the Boy loves reading the blog, so it seems imprudent to call him a stubborn pain in the rear... :-) )
hehehe, I love that he is reading your blog so the name calling must cease! :) Really, she says good things about you most of the time! Although it takes more time, if you really feel strongly about not wanting twins, then you should probably stick to a single. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's all about priorities. (damn them!) {hugs}
ReplyDeleteWhat does your RE recommend?
ReplyDeleteHave you discussed with the RE the possibility that one might not even survive thaw? I do not want to be a downer at all, because I know of several bloggers whose FET did the trick when the fresh did not. But, statistically, FET success rates are in the 30% range, where fresh is 50-60% (depending on your individual circumstances.) Thaw rates for frozen embies hover around 70%. If you only thaw one, there is a chance (though small) that it won't make it, and you've got to start over.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'd go with two, as it would increase your chances of success. But, I also know that decision is influenced by my own desire for twins, so take it with a grain of salt! The bottom line is that you both have to be comfortable with your decision. . . and that's not easy.
Hugs to you as you move forward. I'm wishing you both the very best of luck on your cycle!
Hugs,
Jo
Ugh. No advice, because we just made the exact same call for the exact same reasons and I'm waiting with bated breath to find out if I was "unlucky" enough to have both survive... Ugh. What a horrible thing to have to wish for... Thinking of you and hoping you find an answer that you can be comfortable with - if such a thing is even possible with a situation like this!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Jo - not to be a downer, but there is the chance that both won't survive the thaw. I'd hate for you to take all that lupron and get ready and then have nothing to transfer, so if it were me, I'd go ahead with the two, but having said that, only you know the details of your situation and what makes the most sense for you. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I was ever given on the how-many-to-transfer question is to think of it like this: which scenario would be harder for you to accept? Being pregnant with twins or a BFN?
ReplyDeleteIf that still doesn't clarify it, ask your RE what your odds are for multiples if you thaw both. We were really scared about transferring 4 (fresh) at this last IVF, because we couldn't have dealt with more than twins and were also traumatized by the idea of reduction. Anyway, they gave us the odds (given my age and history) of a singleton BFP at 20%, multiples at 20% of that and high order multiples at 2-3% of that. So, we rolled the dice with that knowledge feeling confident that our chance of high order multiples were very slim.
Also, as pp mentioned, there are some odds against both surviving the thaw also. Personally, I would roll the dice on both, but again circle back to that question I mentioned in the first paragraph.
Good luck, exciting no matter what you choose!