Monday, April 15, 2013

Today was odd

This was a very strange day.

After last Thursdays U/S that saw a large sac and nothing else (except there is still a lot of blood in my uterus) we collectively decided it was time to be done. So I scheduled another high res u/s and a d&c for today, essentially back to back.

I never made it to the d&c. Instead, there was a fetal pole and a heartbeat. But not an especially rapid one. It's likely to still go south based on the low hr (it's 65 - it's really low), but I was certainly in no position to terminate this pregnancy today.

The sac is low, almost near my cervix, and there is a lot of blood above it, but my cervix is log and closed and nothing is coming out.

The head of obstetric ultrasound who told me I was miscarrying two weeks ago was a bit abashed, but it still is a real long shot. All I can say is that my body Really wants to hold on to this pregnancy. And maybe that and a lot of luck will get us by.  I'm doubtful, as the prognostic indicators are not great, but his is already such a long shot on top of a long shot, I don't even know what to think any more. 

12 comments:

  1. Oh, fucking hell. Why can't you just get definitive good news. I'm so sorry for continued limbo and yes would be cautious, too based on heartrate. But there's a baby in there. And possibility. I'm hoping. so hoping.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sending you lots of love and support. ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Holy shit! Heartbeat! I know it's a long shot-- but as you said, a long shot on top of a long shot, well, they almost cancel each other out, right? I'm hoping so hard... and if this works out, it will do a lot to restore my faith in the justice of the universe! In the meantime, I'm wishing you courage and distractions for what continues to be an awful wait.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. p.s. Penelope had a very slow heartbeat at my 6w u/s-- around 60 bpm. Obviously it worked out...

      Delete
  4. Wow--the roller coaster ride continues. Sending you lots of love and hope.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hoping that things improve for you soon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sending love and good wishes for the best possible outcome. I cannot imagine being in that particular emotional limboland and I can only say I want for you clearly great news next time you check.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my GOD. I've seen some incredible miracles in this community, and I am desperately hoping yours is the next one. Sending loads of love and hope.

    ReplyDelete
  8. All of my fingers and toes are crossed for you. Hang on little embryo and grow grow grow!

    ReplyDelete
  9. so sorry for the roller coaster you are on...but sending you all of my thoughts that this little one can beat the odds!

    Mo

    ReplyDelete