And just annoyed at how hard this is all the f**ing time.
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Aug 2012 -- Let's take a look around -- hysteroscopy.
This blog is about my life, my quest to build my family, and the random stuff that comes up along the way
About Me
- irrationalexuberance
- I'm a 42-year old (yikes I hate writing that) woman struggling to maintain my equilibrium (and sanity) while trying to start a family. Turns out that neither is all that straightforward. And now that I have a baby boy, I'm learning to balance family and work without losing my mind!
Our history of baby-making
Mar 2013 -- Go in for Day 2 blood work to figure out where period is and learn I am miraculously pregnant. Beta #1 173. Bleeding at 5w. Gestational sac small and large subchorionic hematoma. But betas still doubling (up to 22,000). At 6w1d fetal pole found and slow heartbeat (65bpm). At 7w2d no heartbeat. M/c #2.
Sep -Dec 2012 -- I've seriously lost track. 2 or 3 more IVF cycles
July 2012 -- IVF #5. 11 eggs retrieved. 10 mature. 4 fertilize. Transfer 3 3-day embryos (6, 5, 4 cells). BFN.
April 2012 -- IVF #4. 15 eggs retrieved. 14 mature. 6 fertilize. Transfer 3 3-day 8-celled embryos. Beta 1 (12dp3dt) = 39. Beta 2 (14dp3dt) = 104. Beta 3 (16dp3dt) = 264. Beta 4 (19dp3dt) = 920. Beta 5 (22dp5dt or 5w4d) = 2664. U/s at 5w4d shows sac right where it should be. U/s at 6w4d shows 7.7mm embryo with strong heartbeat. 3 days later gone. M/c# 1.
Feb 2012 -- IVF #3. 14 eggs retrieved. 11 mature. Only 2 fertilize. Transfer 1 3-day 8-cell embryo. BFN.
Feb 2011 -- Healthy baby boy born at 36 weeks!
Jun 2010 -- FET #2. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. Beta 1 (10dp5dt) = 254. Beta 2 (13dp5dt) = 1326. Scan at 5w6d shows fetal pole measuring 4.55mm and heart beginning to flicker! U/s at 7w6d shows strong hb and 17.2mm.
Mar-Apr 2010 -- IVF #2. 13 eggs retrieved. 5 on day 3. Transfer 2 8-cell embryos. BFN.
Jan-Feb 2010 -- FET #1. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. BFN.
Nov-Dec 2009 -- IVF #1. 18 eggs retrieved, 7 on day 3, 5 on day 5. Transfer 1, freeze 2. BFN.
Oct 2009 -- Ready to go! But surprise -- annual clinic 2-week closure.
Jul-Sep 2009 -- Keep trying a few more months, since Boy thinks we need to give it a bit more time.
May-June 2009 -- Go see several REs. Decide to jump to IVF. Full set of bloodwork done. Ridiculously normal.
Feb-Apr 2009 -- Clo.mid, clo.mid and more clo.mid. Nada.
Feb 2009 -- Talk to OB about why I'm not knocked up yet. Have good FSH (6.2) and respond well to Clo.mid (7 follicles)
Nov 2008 -- Married. Yippee!
Aug 2008 -- Stop birth control. Figure my dress would hide an early pregnancy. Hah.
Jun 2010 -- FET #2. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. Beta 1 (10dp5dt) = 254. Beta 2 (13dp5dt) = 1326. Scan at 5w6d shows fetal pole measuring 4.55mm and heart beginning to flicker! U/s at 7w6d shows strong hb and 17.2mm.
Mar-Apr 2010 -- IVF #2. 13 eggs retrieved. 5 on day 3. Transfer 2 8-cell embryos. BFN.
Jan-Feb 2010 -- FET #1. Transfer 1 5-day blastocyst. BFN.
Nov-Dec 2009 -- IVF #1. 18 eggs retrieved, 7 on day 3, 5 on day 5. Transfer 1, freeze 2. BFN.
Oct 2009 -- Ready to go! But surprise -- annual clinic 2-week closure.
Jul-Sep 2009 -- Keep trying a few more months, since Boy thinks we need to give it a bit more time.
May-June 2009 -- Go see several REs. Decide to jump to IVF. Full set of bloodwork done. Ridiculously normal.
Feb-Apr 2009 -- Clo.mid, clo.mid and more clo.mid. Nada.
Feb 2009 -- Talk to OB about why I'm not knocked up yet. Have good FSH (6.2) and respond well to Clo.mid (7 follicles)
Nov 2008 -- Married. Yippee!
Aug 2008 -- Stop birth control. Figure my dress would hide an early pregnancy. Hah.
Damnit. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteDitto, I was definitely hoping for a different outcome for you. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
DeleteOh, honey, I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI believe that #2 has already been donated to science, as it was not handsome enough (or even yet a blastocyst) at 6 days, so they did not freeze it. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteOh HELL. I'm so very sorry. It *shouldn't* be so hard--you don't deserve to have to go through so much, and for fuck's sake, if you have to, you sure as hell deserved to have this work.
ReplyDeleteCrap I'm sorry I was really hoping for a story book ending, many hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. This is rotten news, indeed. Crap and crap again.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletethat totally sucks. I am so sorry.
ReplyDelete(I'm an ass. And a bit mixed up, hence the off-the-wall name.)
ReplyDeleteStill heartsick for you, though. We're going to be following in your footsteps in trying again. And a big part of me thinks the universe really owes us an easy time for the second go. Damned universe.
Oh crap. I'm so sorry :(. I was really hoping for you...
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Sarah
www.callmemama.wordpress.com
I am so, so sorry.
ReplyDelete