Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Status update

Warning -- this is a whine-fest. But if you want my view on some of the physical aspects of being pregnant, here it is.

I've been feeling like shit, recently, in at least 2 different ways, but I've been holding back from sharing because, well, it's just seems not terribly gracious. But now? I'm tired, and cranky and need to offload.

I am more excited than I can possibly tell you that I am pregnant. Every day I wake up, rub my belly, and feel grateful to all the powers that be for allowing me to make it to 17.5 weeks. But being pregnant is HARD work.

Way one I have felt bad:
Just when I was rejoicing about how the nausea went away and the exhaustion had lifted, and how I really wanted to eat again for the first time in about 12 weeks, I ran headlong into my new worst enemy: reflux. It turns out that the really spicy food that I am craving (like a burrito with spicy barbecued beef) makes my chest and throat burn like, well, like a whole lot of acid is eating its way through tissue it shouldn't be touching. And worse still? It's not just the spicy food. It's tomatoes. And cereal with milk. And green salad with oil and vinegar. And a peanut and butter and jelly sandwich on whole grain bread. All of these foods have caused tremendous gastric distress and forced me to look longingly at food and then turn away, which is a problem because I am starving.

The solution? Eat virtually nothing I like. The other solution: sleep sitting up. It's bad enough that I am no longer allowed to sleep on my back, which blows as well, but to sleep propped up? I'm basically awake for at least an hour every night just sitting there like a fool, feeling really annoyed that it's 3am, I am sitting up in bed with my chest still burning despite the aforementioned sitting and not asleep. So I am tired, too. Oh yeah, and my shoulders and back hurt from sleeping like that.

Way two: I have a cold. And pretty much all I can take for it is liquids and more liquids and tylenol. Of course, citrus juice would be good, but that makes the reflux kick into overdrive. (I tried it. Not fun.) So I am coughing and coughing and yesterday I coughed so hard that I vomited. It was epically horrible and I think I am scarred for life. Word from the wise: next time you are pregnant and coughing hard and have to pee insanely badly all at the same time, try to hold the pee and face the toilet. Because I made the other decision and it was a disaster. Oh, and I was at work. Which made it horrible and embarrassing, because some poor soul was two stalls down. I took today off because (a) I was afraid of coughing/ puking again in public and (b) I'm hoping that a day off will actually help me kick this, and (c) I think the other person in the bathroom deserves a reprieve from the horror show of yesterday.

And since I can't for sure feel le bebe yet (and of course am starting to get worried about that), and have no other indications aside from belly growth that I am still pregnant, I've convinced that my belly is smaller, which means, to my mucus-addled brain, that the bebe is not growing and doom has finally caught up with me.

In short, I'm sick, chock full of acid, and a nutcase. Fabtastic combination.

On the plus side, Glee is on tonight, I got to sleep until 10 (with a "what the fuck are you doing sitting up" break between 4.30 and 5.30am), and I am starting to feel better. Oh, and I'm 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant, which blows my mind and means that my fancy dancy level II ultrasound is in just. one. week.


  1. :( so sorry to hear that you are not feeling feel. wishing some blissfully pregnant days your way very soon!! hang in there.

  2. I was right there with you on the nausea that morphed into reflux with nary a moment's respite in between. If it makes you feel any better, eating post partum has taken on a new level of happy for me...

    I know. Small comfort. Hang in there.

  3. I am so sorry to hear it! I have my own set of problems, but I think I'll take mine over the morning sickness and then vomiting option any day. I feel so bad for you!

    I have a really sensitive gag reflex because of neck surgery years ago and about once a week end up coughing hysterically and sometimes throwing up. It totally sucks, and I do really feel for you.

    Though I must admit that I chuckled over the work-bathroom-barf-cough-pee incident. That is one for the memory books...

    I am so psyched for you on the level II ultrasound! I don't get mine until right at 21 weeks... which feels like a really really long way away. I didn't even get a peek at the kiddo at my last OB appointment, and my next one just got rescheduled for a week later. So I'm totally jonesing for a baby check. I just ordered a fetal heart monitor. Weak. I feel week that I couldn't wait any longer for confirmation that all is ok...

  4. Oh, I know that vomit-in-the-throat feeling well. It was my midnight to 1am companion for the last trimester. I did find that it helped if I made sure not to eat anything for 2+ hours before bedtime. And on the happy side, it went away completely after birth - just 22 more weeks! ;)

    And yay for impending level II u/s!!

  5. Ugh! I hear you! It's horrible because now you are actually hungry right?! In the hospital they gave me Malox which I though definitely NOT work. :) Surprisingly, it did miracles. There's other stuff you can take which is stronger... It's really worth it! Being preggo is harder than it looks...and you add in the worry learned from infertility....argh! You're so happy to be preggo but also miserable at the same time. (hugs)

  6. Sorry, but I can't help but giggle when reading this. So not funny for you but kind of hilarious to read:) I bet that sweet ultrasound will make everything feel better:) It's totally fine in my book to have an occational whine fest!

  7. ugh, you poor thing. these symptoms do NOT sound very fun at all. i cannot imagine sleepign upright. when i had bad reflux last year, my gastro suggested the same thing and i thought he was on crack. HOW does one sleep upright???

    i hope things resolve quickly so that you have a smooth, symtomfree pregnancy going forward! xoxo!

  8. Yep, it is hard work. When I was pregnant before I had nausea in 1st, ciatic nerve pain in 2nd, and severe bloating (20lbs worth) in 3rd. I was super excited for the sleepless nights so I could just feel better. Hang in there.

  9. Ugh, I'm so sorry you've been hit by the reflux. Totally sucks. I crave the spicy too, and I can't imagine having heartburn after eating it. Blech. And I have a cold too - damn, it sucks too! I slept upright last night, just so my stuffy head could drain. Yuck.

    Hang in there, it will get better. Maybe not for several more months (eek!) but this is a temporary condition! With a big reward at the end!

    And FWTW, I didn't get movement for another week or two (18-19w) so be patient. It will come. Good luck at the big u/s!!

  10. YIKES. Yay for whinefests. And that sounds like a really rough combination. (Though I have to admit the vomiting-pissing story cracked me up as well. Pregnancy is so romantic!) I hope you are shown some mercy really soon.

  11. Even after IF, pregnancy pretty much sucks. I feel guilty even saying it after all I've been through, but it truly didn't agree with me. Talk to your doctor about Zantac - mine put me on it early on because I was having terribly reflux issues. Congrats on your pg!!