From the very beginning, there were decisions:
- Should we have a baby?
- When should we stop birth control?
- Is it time yet to get some advice about why this isn't happening?
- Do we do IUI or IVF?
- Which clinic do we choose?
- How many embryos do we put back in?
- Are we ready to cycle again?
- Who do we tell that we are infertile?
- Do we skip the baby shower?
- Do we switch REs?
- Are we ready to start thinking about alternative routes to a family?
Now there are a whole bunch of new questions, some of which have answers:
- Do we tell anyone? (Nope, except one friend who just had her second baby, her first was IVF, and she "gets" it)
- Do we want to know the sex? (Nope)
- Are we able to handle a disabled child? (Not really. That's the honest truth for us.)
- Do we want to find out if everything is chromosomally ok? And when? (See below)
- How do I deal with feeling so physically crappy but at the same time remaining incredibly grateful? (Work in progress. Depends on my level of nausea and exhaustion)
- Do I have to tell everyone I am pregnant how I got to be? I'm not ashamed of the IVF, but is it anyone's business? Will I help the "cause" if I am open? (Not yet an issue, still thinking)
And I'm betting that there are more that haven't even arisen yet, but that list has already taken quite a decision-making toll on that "instinct."
Since the Boy and I both agree on what we will do with the chromosomal information, we are going forward with the CVS test next week. Thanks to all of you for your wisdom and advice -- ultimately it came down to what would work for us as a couple and (that old standby) our gut feeling.
As of today (10w1d) all is well. We took a look and it's about 3cm long and has a strong heartbeat (she didn't measure, and I resisted the urge to say "I must know this -- I need data!" because she did say that everything looked just perfect). It was on a different angle/ plane today, so initially there was just a big black circle, which created some panic, but then we found it, and it looks, well, less alien-like, but still kind of like something from a movie you might see at a drive in (back when there were drive ins).
So onward we go. Next week is a big week for us, so I'm just holding tight until then.