476. Doubling time of 34 hours and right on the median on the fancy chart I use. I wish I could figure out how to cut the image from the website, but whatever.
I'm both trying to relax and enjoy each moment as it comes as well as freaking the f*ck out. At the same time.
I know that my risk of miscarriage is very high
I know the risk of chromosomal abnormality is very high
I know that at my age the risk of preterm labor is high
I also know that I have never ever gotten pregnant before without ART despite months and months of trying, and that this -- especially at my age -- is nothing short of a miracle. I'm not that religious, so I don't throw that word around lightly. I speak more of probabilities and likelihoods. But this? Defying pretty much all I know about statistics.
So this can go sideways or down or bad in about 100 different ways, but right now I'm focusing on the "miracle" part of this.
I may go in for another beta on Saturday am, just because I am crazy. I own the crazy though, and frankly I think a situation like this warrants some crazy.
Part of me wants to call my OB, who I love and would be friends with if she wasn't also my OB, and tell her about this. But then I remember that right after I made the appt. last time I had a miscarriage and when I went to see her it was for the d&c. So I will wait until after this u/s. And maybe until after I can hear a heartbeat (although I saw that last time, too). I'm rambling. And shockingly unproductive at work.
I'll find out later this pm about an u/s next week. Holy sh*t.
I'm both trying to relax and enjoy each moment as it comes as well as freaking the f*ck out. At the same time.
I know that my risk of miscarriage is very high
I know the risk of chromosomal abnormality is very high
I know that at my age the risk of preterm labor is high
I also know that I have never ever gotten pregnant before without ART despite months and months of trying, and that this -- especially at my age -- is nothing short of a miracle. I'm not that religious, so I don't throw that word around lightly. I speak more of probabilities and likelihoods. But this? Defying pretty much all I know about statistics.
So this can go sideways or down or bad in about 100 different ways, but right now I'm focusing on the "miracle" part of this.
I may go in for another beta on Saturday am, just because I am crazy. I own the crazy though, and frankly I think a situation like this warrants some crazy.
Part of me wants to call my OB, who I love and would be friends with if she wasn't also my OB, and tell her about this. But then I remember that right after I made the appt. last time I had a miscarriage and when I went to see her it was for the d&c. So I will wait until after this u/s. And maybe until after I can hear a heartbeat (although I saw that last time, too). I'm rambling. And shockingly unproductive at work.
I'll find out later this pm about an u/s next week. Holy sh*t.
Yay for a great beta!! I can imagine all the anxieties and amazement and disbelief that you are going through. One step at a time!!! Thinking of you!!
ReplyDeleteWow, that's a great doubling time! This is incredible, and I can't even tell you how hard I am hoping for it to work out.
ReplyDeleteOMG... I am freaking the fuck out right along side you - I am SO hopeful for you ... and I'll be checking in lots to see how you're doing. Just like Rebecca says, one step at a time!
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteOne step at a time--- celebrate that wonderful doubling beta! Yes!!!!
ReplyDeleteForget statistics. I know it's hard.
ReplyDeleteBut conceiving naturally doesn't make this pregnancy any more precarious than if you'd done an IVF and it worked.
Breathe. For right now, this is good. This is good. This is good.
Wow! I know exactly where you are. Easy to say, "take it one day at a time" but incredibly hard to do. Will just be hoping that everything turns out ok. Just know that we're all here rooting for this needle-in-a-haystack baby to stick!
ReplyDeleteI was planning on buying this. Figured you might be in that boat. I want so badly for this miracle to be just that.
ReplyDeleteThis is great news - and I don't think it's crazy at all to go in on Saturday for another beta.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your pregnancy! I know how much you've wanted another child, and I'm happy for you. :-)
ReplyDelete