Yep, it's been a year. (For the record, re: this blog post title, I hate show tunes, and thought Rent was stupid, but I do think that it gives a good sense of the passage of time. So I used it.)
A year ago we put the last of our icicles back in for what we really thought was a total waste of time cycle. I had already done orientation at clinic number two where I was hoping to have more success since I had not managed to get a beta greater than 5 during 2 ivf and an fet. I admit that ivf 1 and fet 1 were both single embryo transfers, but after 4 back in and no pregnancy I was losing hope.
Fast forward to today -- I have a wonderful, happy, cuddly baby boy asleep in his room. I could not possibly feel more luck or grateful, and still surprised. That little ball of cells in the photo tht we gripped super tightly after we went home is a really human being now. The source of the kicks and the pokes and the endless heartburn can smile and laugh and shake his rattle. Despite the fact that I know where babies come from, I still have the hardest time putting it all together in my head. But even if it still seems amazing (and honestly, I hope this sense of gratitude and wonder never fades), I wouldn't want to miss it for the world. I've had a lot of experiences and done a lot of stuff in my 41 years -- professionally and personally -- and this is by far the best and most important thing I have ever done.
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Awww...what a lovely post, it is so truly amazing when you think about it.
ReplyDeleteAn awesome change in a year!
ReplyDelete(And, thanks, now I have that damn song stuck in my head...)
That is an awesome year!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAwwww, such a nice tribute to your baby!
ReplyDeleteBUT, I adore Rent..."no day but today" and "measure your life in love" are my themes...:)
I don't see how one could ever stop being grateful and amazed. I'm so happy for you, and hope you'll be enjoying all these upcoming anniversaries.
ReplyDeleteIt really is just too much to think about. Like contemplating the edge of the universe. The science says it's there... and that those little clumps of cells turn into humans... but it's hard to really BELIEVE it. Even when it happens within your own personal body. Or especially then, actually! It's a true miracle. Congratulations on one year of Benjamin... and yes, I believe each and every year to follow will be just as amazing.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Unbelievable that those little clumps of cells can actually turn into a little person, and especially one that makes our hearts melt so! This really is the ride of a lifetime. I feel so lucky to get to go through it along side you!
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