No, I'm not dead, just a human snack bar

Wow -- I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I posted. I think about doing so all of the time, and have the best intnetions, but well, things (like feeding, changing and sleeping) get in the way.

Case in point, I wrote the first half of the above paragraph two hours ago. And now, after some consternation on Benjamin's part, I have a sleeping baby in a bouncy seat next to the desk.

And nope-- now I am holding him. Someone has a tummy ache. So I will proceed with my non-dominant hand.

I think the biggest surprise and challenge so far is breast feeding> I don't want to complain or whine, but it is hard. No shit hard. (fwiw, I just took another hour break. This stomachache is really messing with napping today.)

Yeah. And then I took a break for 4 more weeks. Because I wrote the above on February 18th and today? Today is March 14th. Its not that I don't have time, or a lot to say, but just that I use Benjamin's down time as an opportunity to do mindless things like eat, watch TV or sleep.

But anyway, where are we now? Things are, by and large, awesome. We love our little man and think that we have drawn an especially good card from the deck -- he sleeps for up to 6 hours some nights, he is alert and happy for several hours each day, during which time we can play, and he can pretty much put himself to sleep when we put him in his crib awake -- he just hangs out until he falls asleep. So, yeah, it appears he is an easy baby.

That said, this is tiring and, well, hard work. And feeding the little one still is a source of stress for me, because he still is not latching great and when he does, he is having a compressing issue. By that I mean that he mashes the living crap out of my nipple leaving me in some amount of excruciating pain. So we are trying to sort through the balance between my desire to breastfeed and my own survival instinct. Today we are on a pump and bottle plan and that's going just fine.

There's a lot more to write about breastfeeding, about my feelings about it, and about how I thought it would all work but yet isn't really, but if I embark upon that longer post, this will NEVER see the light of day. Or at least not until April.

So here's my highlights, in no particular order:

- I have never felt so totally overwhelmed with emotion as I do when I look at my baby boy.

- My DH is more in love with Benjamin than he thought possible.

- My husband has been an awesome father so far. It's been really wonderful to work together on meeting our little one's many, many needs.

- B is an easy kid -- he can be put in his crib awake, he can hang out there awake for a while, he is generally easy to soothe, he is often awake and alert for an hour at a time after he eats, and has only had one or two episodes of inconsolable crying.

- Breastfeeding is not as easy as it might be. And when it hurts, it really hurts.

- Pumping makes me feel like a cow.

- C-section recovery isn't so bad.

- Yes, I do talk about poop and farting all the time. And I'm convinced it's fascinating.

- Motherhood is better than I could have imagined.

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